Check out this link below to read our published response to “What was the most important lesson learned in your first year of business?”

http://www.365daysofstartups.com/experts/business-question-of-the-week/story/558

Everyone knows that networking can help you grow your business. This is the main and most obvious reason people do it in the first place. However, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some intangibles which I have stumbled upon or witnessed in the past couple of years that I believe to be even more valuable than just the exchange of business:

Every time you are in the audience and hear an expert in their field deliver a presentation, it’s a learning opportunity. In the past year alone, I have learned that most of us are driving around with inadequate car insurance coverage and there’s a very quick & inexpensive fix to this. I learned how to position yourself in a more flattering way when you’re getting your picture taken. I now have a much better understanding of  what “SEO” is and does (just don’t ask me to explain it!). I learned how to read labels, the importance of social media marketing, better ways to resolve conflicts, the importance of power words, how to better negotiate, and  most important, I learned about the people behind the businesses. If you want to really get something out of networking, ask the person you’re conversing with how they got into the business they are in now. The answers are always unique and very often inspiring.

Then there’s the support factor. Are you having a grand opening to celebrate a new location for your business? Hosting an event? Conducting a seminar? Involved in a charity? The amount of support that is derived from fellow net-workers is unparalleled. There is an ambiance of family mixed in with a spirit of ingenuity and the results are always impressive. We go to each others events & often bring an entourage. We help one another with presentation development and we brainstorm on all different topics to find the ways get the best possible results. This is another intangible benefit which cannot be measured by anything other than your heart.

When you surround yourself with people who are passionate & knowledgeable about what they do, you have an instant pool of resources. Whether you pool monies together for advertising expenses or combine your brain trust to get questions answered, there is a priceless intangible factor to networking. I’ve seen people come together to brainstorm about how to get some one’s spouse a job. There have been times when loved ones have been lost or tragedies have struck and the amount of sympathy and support is incredible, heartwarming and unforgettable. 

Lastly, networking strengthens relationships. If you send a valued customer of yours to a contractor and they exceed expectations, your customer will now value your opinion even more. When you refer your friends to an attorney and they call you to tell you how wonderful they were treated, you grow that much closer to them. This is true of all relationships and before you know it, you will become a trusted resource to the people closest to you and most importantly, networking helps people! The simple fact is getting to know people and deciphering who you feel is a good fit for your arsenal of trusted professionals is an invaluable tool. Imagine how much pain and heartache can be avoided if all mortgages, investments, medical needs (etc…) were placed in the hands of the right people who practice with the highest level of integrity? There’s good and bad in all walks of life. Let’s become an integral part of assisting the people we care about land in only the best of hands!

As mentioned, the original motivation behind networking is almost always to get more business exposure and referral business.  However, it grows into something much bigger and even more valuable than a black and white bottom line. Perhaps you can help me explain it. I would love to hear about your experiences.

“You’ll never go anywhere, you’ll never make any money and you’ll never make a name for yourself.” These are the words on a piece of paper that Vince Papale of the Philadelphia Eagles read to himself before going out on the field to play. If you haven’t seen the movie “Invincible” it’s a pretty good start to get the vibe of what is called “locker room material”. In this case, Mark Wahlberg plays a young, unemployed, amateur football player who is struggling to make ends meat. His wife leaves him with nothing but a note filled with some of the coldest words one could read. He keeps it and reads it right before hitting the field while trying to make the team. He reads it again before his games and finally before one of the biggest moments of his career and life!

I believe we all have locker room material in our life and it doesn’t matter if you are an athlete. It is a very common tool that coaches and players take advantage of and there are countless examples. Here are a couple of my own…

When I was in my early 20′s I was working in a securities firm with about 70 men. We were stockbrokers. It was an incredibly competitive, fast paced environment and many of “the boys” enjoyed betting. They would play poker during dinner, have push up contests, offer someone money and wager that they couldn’t eat an entire ounce of wasabi and so on. Whenever someone had to study for the Series 7 exam (considered to be one of the hardest tests in the country) they would create a pool. People would bet on the score of the individual. Most people failed on their first attempt, including the ring leaders. When it cam time for me to take the exam, most of the boys had bet me to fail. Looking at the pool and studying the names of all who had placed a wager against me gave me the strength, the energy and most of all the extra motivation to do what I needed to do to pass that test with flying colors. I already wanted to pass it, but imagining their faces of shock and utter disbelief gave me the desire to study 3 times as hard. It was a great moment when my vision became a reality and that is a moment I still cherish!

Here’s the point. When someone puts you down, whether they are family, friend, colleague or foe, you have a choice. You can either listen to what they are saying, begin to doubt your self and suffer the hurt they intended to inflict. OR, you can take their words, memorize them and use it as a catalyst to propel you to where you want to be! Success truly is the greatest revenge and I don’t know about you, but I love proving the naysayers wrong!

Here’s another one…

I hate running and I always have. It’s just never been my thing. Anyway, I use to bartend and waitress in a restaurant. One of the bartenders ran an annual race called the Turkey Trot. It was about 5 miles in a beautiful neighborhood filled with gorgeous homes and steep hills. One of my bosses at the time was extremely overweight (about 350 pounds) and she was known for being very short with the female staff. About a month before the race, the bartender and I were chatting and I was curious about his training regimen. After all, I was always into sports and I was very active. The next thing I know, the owner interjects with some pretty aggressive questions. “Why do you want to know his training routine? Why do you care what he eats?” I have to admit, I was tempted to say “No one is talking to you!” but she was my boss. So, I ended up defending it in an awkward way and muttered something to the effect of “I guess I’m curious.” Her response…and I’ll never forget this was…”You could NEVER finish that race, so stop asking him so many questions!” This is one of the handful of moments I was actually speechless. There was a long silence and I felt every one’s eyes on me. I was initially confused as to why she was attacking me in the first place, but then confusion turned to anger and anger into desire. I pictured her seeing me crossing the finish line as she watched from the sideline and I smiled. Then she became the one who was confused and I knew I was already winning. I said only 3 words…”I’m doing it”. From that point on, every time I went out to run and I didn’t want to I was able to picture her saying I could never do it. Oh yeah? Guess what, I did it and at the end of the race I went up to her and said “Thank you!”. I think this irritated her to her wit’s end, but here’s the strangest part, I meant it! Had it not been for her, I would never have run the race and I have to say that crossing that finish line was a damn good feeling!

Here’s the reality of life: Some people will say things that are nasty, hurtful and sometimes they may come from the people you least expect it from. Don’t try to figure it out (I used to do that) because the why doesn’t matter. What matters is your reaction. You can use it as a reason to fail or you can choose to use the locker room material in your life to shove their words of failure and disbelief right down their throats! I choose to make them eat it. They don’t even have to know it, as long as you do. Write the person’s name on a sticky, put it on your bathroom mirror or computer screen. Look at it every single day and picture their face when they realize how wrong they were about you. Feels good, doesn’t it? You are successful! You are a winner! And most of all you are loved!

If you have a good “Locker Room Material” story, I’d love to hear it! Send it in! I’d love to post it…

email to valerie@elephantnetworking.com

Many of my customers are small business owners. These are the people who drive our economy and I know that many of us get tired of hearing this. The assignment I have given myself is to put a face to these stores and people so that you, the shopper, aka the almighty consumer will actually care and change some or all of your shopping habits this holiday season. Here it goes…

I recently asked people of all ages and demographics what the best present was they had ever received. The answers varied from a puppy, a bicycle, a camera, a pair of tickets to a favorite band, a rub-a-dub Dolly doll. The answer was never a gift card or cash, not once! Meanwhile, these are the most popular stated answers when I asked people what they believed they would be getting this year. Also, most people replied that they would be giving gift cards and cash as well. When I asked what stores they would be buying the gift cards from, the responses were almost entirely humungous chain stores or even online companies. This saddens me immensely!

I could go on and on about how we should put more thought and creativity into our gift giving (not just now but all year round!), but what I really want to highlight are the people behind the counters of the local mom & pop stores. Did you know that most of these stores rely on a strong holiday season to get them through the next several months? Do you realize how, by shopping locally, you are supporting your neighbors, neighborhood, friends and parents of children in the same schools your kids attend? You have the power to help keep these businesses alive. If you and I and the people we know take a little time and use our noodles, we can find a gift we will be proud of giving again! We will have something to present that will stand out from all of the other big store gift cards that are in envelopes! We will not just give a gift, we will create a memory!

Think about your very first job…there’s a very strong chance you were working for a small business. When young kids need a place to start to make some money, they are often hired by a local small business. Often times, the parents of a young teenager will aproach a neighbor or friend who owns a small business and say “Hey, can you do me a favor…my kid is looking for a job…”. When students need to raise money for their soccer team by selling ad space on a program, or the choir is selling chocolate bars, where do they go? Local small businesses! We all know that small businesses drive our economy. Did you also know that small businesses are responsible for 65% of all job growth from 1993-2009? Here’s a great link if you’re looking for more info: http://www.sba.gov/advo/stats/sbfaq.pdf

Here’s the sad truth: 1) Our economy is still slow. 2)  If you don’t shop locally, you will witness small businesses fail & close their doors.  3) These are people that you probably know, or your kids know their kids, or even if you don’t these are people who put their blood sweat & tears towards keeping their original dream alive!

No one is asking for a hand out here. I’m asking you to recognize the power of your consumer dollars and to spend it wisely. Support the local entrepreneurs who we look to lead the way to a stronger economy, a better community and better gifts!

So where am I going to find these original, amazing and unforgettable gifts? Here:

OUR BEST WISHES  (17B Merrick Ave., Merrick, NY) 516.868.1111    This is the most unbelievable store! You will not find gifts like these and you will not find another person like Gwen Newman! She will ask you what your budget is and to tell her 3 things about the person you are shopping for. She will then pick things out for you, stay within your budget and if you spend just $20 or more THEY WILL WRAP I T FOR YOU AT NO EXTRA CHARGE!!! Not just wrapping paper and a bow, I’m talking about a complicated gift wrapping extravaganza with bows and cellophane and confetti! Also, get this…they have a new division called “Yours, Mine & Ours” where if you bring in a gift purchased elsewhere or even if you’re regifting something, they will combine it with the items you purchase from them and once again, wrap it for you! If you spend less than $20, no worries, they will wrap gifts for you at cost! When you walk in with a gift from “OUR BEST WISHES” you & your present will literally turn heads!

Sparks Unisex (28 South Park Ave. #3, Rockville Centre, NY) 516.764.7494. Everyone loves to be pampered. Unfortunately, most of us don’t take the time to do it or we cut back on ourselves when tightening the belt. Why not give the gift of beauty? Every woman wants to feel beautiful and they offer a variety of services for men too! What man wouldn’t enjoy a hot towel shave? If you mention this article, Sparks will give you 20% OFF any single chemical procedure! Haircuts, blow outs, up dos, cuts, color, perms and waxing are all available and will certainly come in handy so we can look amazing while ringing in the NEW YEAR!!!

ROCKVILLE CAMERA (265 Sunrise Hwy, Rockville Centre, NY) 516.764.5252. You won’t believe what Caron & Marc Lerner can do with your pictures! From custom framing to collages and slide shows, they will customize your pictures and use only the best quality developing and paper. These pictures WILL NOT FADE! Trust me, the drugstores don’t have the right tools and your pictures will absolutely fade in 3-6 months. One of the best gifts I ever gave was a restored photo of my parents’ wedding day. Why not enlarge, salvage, or convert a special memory from your computer or old negatives into a work of art? Watch the faces of the person unwrapping a canvas portrait of their family or custom framed collage of their friends. This season, put art on someone’s wall and enjoy the smiles as you watch them relive a magical moment! For more info, please visit www.rockvillecamera.com

These are a few great places to support. I’m sure you know a few also. Won’t you help spread the word and patronize the people who support the community you live in?